


It's Better This Way

by ffrindyddraig



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark, Demon Blood Addict Sam Winchester, Demon Dean Winchester, Multi, POV Second Person, Rape/Non-con Elements, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 09:53:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18848647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffrindyddraig/pseuds/ffrindyddraig
Summary: Then the girl is on the bed next to you, Dean's hands around her throat, eyes begging at you. Once you would of stopped it, now you just blink slowly, watch it like it's on TV. He lets go, and she just lies their like a broken toy. You wonder if she's dead, then she lets out a half sob. You think you should kill her. You think you wouldn't be able to do that right either.





	It's Better This Way

You're in a bar... no, a club. Lights didn't dance like that in a bar, the thump-thump-thump of music the only thing keeping your heart beating, pushing poisoned blood around your body.

Dean was here somewhere. He had to be. Didn't trust you on your own. You don't either. You mess everything up. If you couldn't save your brother what chance did you have yourself?

Your beer bottle on the table won't focus and you can't bring yourself to care. You don't want to drink it, and Dean hasn't ordered you to yet, so for now you don't have to. You wish you were in the bunker. It's quiet there, your heart could stop. It would be a relief to die, even for a bit before Dean pulled you back. He'd be pissed, rip you to shreds, cut and stitch and laugh laugh laugh.

You sit on your hands. Don't like them when they shake. When Dean's voice becomes His. Dean doesn't like that either, that He broke you first. That you've been His for longer, even though Dean owned you first. Dean always knows when you're thinking about Him, didn't matter that you can't help it. You can't do anything right.

You sneak at glance at Dean, relieved he's found a girl, found some entertainment that isn't you. She's pretty and young, all her skin showing. You want to tell her to run. Instead you keep your mouth shut, lean your head back, count the tiles on the ceiling. The numbers won't stay in your head, slipping away like everything else. You think you could die if the thump-thump-thump would shut up.

_Hey Sammy._ You want to correct him. Last time you did you couldn't walk for a week. _You coming._ It isn't a question. You stand, body like lead. It shouldn't be so hard to move. The girl says something, but Dean laughs her off. He looks exactly like he always did.

You don't remember the walk to the motel. You should, and it worries you for a second. You're not you, there's something inside _get it out_. Then you forget you forgot, and the bed under you is soft and you dig your fingers in.

The beat is gone, but your heart is still pounding. You hold your breath, but your body kicks in, and your can't die. He's still keeping you alive.

People are arguing. Loud enough that you want to put your hands over your ears, or scream, or both but it's all too much effort so you just lie there. The words mean nothing, all harsh and red and bad.

Then the girl is on the bed next to you, Dean's hands around her throat, eyes begging at you. Once you would of stopped it, now you just blink slowly, watch it like it's on TV. He lets go, and she just lies their like a broken toy. You wonder if she's dead, then she lets out a half sob. You think you should kill her. You think you wouldn't be able to do that right either.

_Go on Sammy._ You turn your head away, blink at Dean, whose grinning at you, all black eyes and teeth. You don't understand what he's saying, and he sighs. If you had more energy you would flinch. After annoyance comes pain.

_I got her for you._ You still don't understand. You don't get anything. You don't deserve anything.

For a second you're floating, then you smash against the wall, and Dean's standing over you. _Fuck her Sammy._ And you realise this isn't for you at all.

You stand, and you should be in pain but all you feel is numb.

_She'll walk out?_ You ask, even though you don't get a say in this, you don't get a choice, but you can't just turn your back. It's better than him taking her, shouldn't that be enough for you? Usually their not in one piece after Dean has his fun. You still wish he would leave you out of it. Dean nods, impatient, but it's enough.

You get on top of her, take off her clothes, take off yours. She's crying, and you say, _It's better this way_. She just cries harder, which wasn't what you wanted at all.

You look at Dean, sitting close to the bed on a chair, dick in hand. Says _Start the show Sammy._

You're already half hard, the evilness inside you loving this, and it doesn't take much to bring you to bring you to fullness. You start and you hate yourself for it, and you say _It's better this way_ even though at some point you started crying too. Each second drags to eternity.

Dean finishes first, comes all over her face and she's stopped making noise but the tears keep flowing. It takes you longer, but you can't stop before you're done.

You roll of her, feeling sick, eyes on the ceiling. Dean pats your hair, says _good boy_ , but you don't respond, all your effort going into not throwing up.

_You can leave._ Dean says to her, barely casting her a glance, eyes on you, still petting your hair.

You don't look at her as she stands, grabs her clothes. Runs to the door. You close your eyes as Dean clicks his fingers, snaps her neck. He keeps petting you.

_It's better this way._


End file.
